The worst assistant

€10.54

Your worst enemy is the one living inside your head, riding a pink elephant and juggling.

You know that voice that suggests five more minutes on Instagram won't affect your deadline? The one that, while you're trying to be a functional adult, is at the back of the control panel, pressing random buttons, riding elephants, and wondering what happens if it unplugs the willpower cable? Yeah, that one—the one managing your priorities with the efficiency of a raccoon in a china shop. The worst assistant in history.

Perfect for anyone who catches themselves thinking: "why the hell do I do this?"

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Size & Fit

  • 5x7" (~13x18cm). Perfect for your desk. Costs about as much as a cheap lunch special.
  • 11x14" (~28x35cm). Not so small you need a magnifying glass, not so big it covers up the damp stains on your wall. Ideal for that friend who says they're "fine" while their eye twitches.
  • 12x18" (~30x45cm). Because apparently A3 standard doesn't exist on this site.
  • 20x30" (~50x75cm). So your guests know you're not quite right in the head.

More details

Official description:

  • Paper thickness: 0.26mm
  • Paper weight: 189 g/m²
  • Opacity: 94%
  • ISO brightness: 104%

Unofficial description:

  • Paper: Museum quality (so your cynicism lasts for decades).
  • Finish: Matte (like your gaze on a Tuesday morning).
  • Display: Ships unframed. Compatible with cheap IKEA frames or sticky tape—keeping with the proposed aesthetic.
  • Shipping: Arrives in a cardboard tube as sturdy as your will to procrastinate.
  • Origin: Designed by me in a tiny town near Barcelona (Spain), processed by this platform's AI, and shipped to your local reality.

Quality Guarantee & Returns

  • Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
  • Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.